Lean not on thine own understanding

Ever wonder why God does the things he does? Or why he leads us and directs us down certain paths? I made a commitment to myself at the beginning of the year to start my day, and usually end it, by reading the bible. My hope is to finish the entire New Testament this year. And not just read it, but to really study what I am reading, understand it and apply it to my life. In November of 2012 we started the process of buying a home for our family. Our offer was submitted and that day I began to pray. I didn't pray that the Lord would get us the house, but I did pray that if it were HIS will to please allow us to have that home for our family. A safe, warm, beautiful home to raise them in. There have been many snags along the way, times when I was so frustrated and aggravated that I just wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up, but I always went back and prayed. It was humbling, and difficult honestly! To want something so much, but yet to give it to Him and say, "Lord, if it is your will for our family to have this home please move these road blocks out of the way. But if it isn't your will and you want something else for us then your will be done." That is scary! But, he moved every single block and this Friday, January 25th, we get to close on our new home. It is a beautiful home, and one that I have no doubt will be filled with a lot of love and memories for our family as they grow. I keep going back to my first question though. It has been on my mind a lot lately - what is God's plan for us and this home. Is it that we just continue to fill it with love for him and our family, or does he want more from us? I can't hear him speak, obviously, but he answers that question a little more day by day. This morning I read in Matthew and there were two verses in chapter six that stood out to me. Basically God told me loud and clear, don't worry about tomorrow or the next day or the next! I have it under control. So, I am focusing on today and allowing him to keep showing me his plan for my life day by day. In my heart though, I see him using us and this home for a greater purpose. I just don't know that purpose yet. I have learned so much just in the past few months about God, and it honestly amazes me every single day just how much he lives through us. There have been actions and thoughts that I have had and there is no doubt that it was him directing me! My prayer this morning, one that I didn't even know the words too until I started to pray, was just that He would continue to work through me. That He would continue to be the light that I followed and He would help me to make every decision for His glory and not my own. I'm not perfect, I stumble every single day, but I am growing because of His help and for that I am thankful! I just hope that I can be a guide for someone else out there trying to understand life and what our purpose here is. I may not know that person, or it may be someone I see daily, I don't know yet. But my prayer is that He helps me to lead them to Him so that they can know this feeling that I get to wake up with everyday. Life may not be amazing and great all the time here on earth, but every single time that I feel like I can't handle it anymore I remember that no matter what my home is Heaven and it's gonna be amazing up there. No matter what I have to endure here, Heaven will be my reward. Scary? Yea sometimes because I see all the pain and fear and suffering in this world ... but I know that God has me and my family in his hands. There was a time in my life that I wanted to be the best at everything ... the best daughter, friend, student, employee, parent, spouse ... whatever. And then suddenly one day in church it hit me - I should strive to only be the best child of God that I could be! That is all I should worry about. Because by being that, I would be an example of what a God-filled life is to my friends, my family, my spouse and my children. That is all that counts! So - that is my plan :)